If there’s one thing I take seriously, it’s awards season. There are few things I enjoy more than the Academy Awards, a glorious night of all things film. This year, the Academy chose nine films for contention for the illustrious Best Picture Oscar. Because seeing movies is expensive in Chicago, you likely haven’t seen all nine nominees (the cheapest it could be done in Chicago would be for $81). Because I care, I’ve seen all of these films for you and ranked them in order of best to worst.*
*I am not the Academy, a film critic or anyone important, I just like watching movies and saying things about them to my friends – well, mostly Twitter. Take this list at your own discretion.
1. “12 Years a Slave” There is no film better than Steve McQueen’s absolutely gutwrenching drama. “12 Years a Slave” is based on the true story of Solomon Norfolk, a free man from New York sold into slavery. Chiwetel Ejiofort’s performance is guaranteed to make you cry at least two to five times. If Lupito N’yongo does not win an Oscar for her role, all Oscars heretofore are meaningless. If you can only see one film that’s nominated this year, it’s this one, hands down.
2. “Dallas Buyers Club” It’s the cinematic counterpoint to last year’s best documentary nominee “How to Survive a Plague,” “Dallas Buyers Club” shows the brutal reality that was living with AIDS in the late ’80s. Matthew McCaunaughey plays an arrogant, self-important, homophobic AIDS patient who forms an unlikely team with Rayon (played by Jared Leto) to sell memberships to the Dallas Buyers Club – a a pseudo-legal way to sell illegal drugs not yet approved by the FDA proven to treat AIDS to victims by selling them memberships. Leto’s work as a transgender woman is outstanding, and the runaway favorite, deservedly, for best supporting actor.
3. “Nebraska” Probably the most beautifully shot film of the bunch, Nebraska is full of sprawling black and white shots of the plains and small towns. Will Forte takes on a still comedic, but much more serious role than those of his past (this is certainly no McGrubber) and is in good company with the great Bruce Dern. Dern plays the very disconnected recovering/not recovering alcoholic who believes a Publisher’s Clearing House promise for $1 million is true, ignoring the fine print. Forte, who plays one of Dern’s sons – the other played by Bob Odenkirk – goes on a road trip from South Dakota to Nebraska to claim his “prize.” Dern’s wife, played by June Squibb, is the stand-out role of the movie, full of sass and a take-no-s— attitude.
4. “Her” The real winner here? The comeback of high-waisted pants in our future. A divorced Joaquin Phoenix is lonely and depressed, and finds love and compassion with his operating system, voiced by Scarlett Johansson. While “Her” might not cause tears like “12 Years a Slave” and “Dallas Buyers Club,” it causes a deeper, more existential sadness and loneliness. If your computer won’t love you in the distant-not-sodistant future, who will? For all you hip kids with your “indie rock,” Win Butler from Arcade Fire did the score, and Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s sings the “Moon Song.”
5. “Captain Phillips” Have heart problems? Don’t see “Captain Phillips.” This film, like last year’s Best Picture winner