Playing any Call of Duty game is a bit like drinking. On a Friday night with some friends, it’s not so bad. Do it alone on a Wednesday morning, though, and you might have a problem.
Of course, I’m an alcohol aficionado, and so like any good addict, that’s exactly what I was doing last week. Eminem blared, snack cake wrappers littered the floor. It was a grand old time – but halfway through, the haze started to clear and it dawned on me just what was really going on. Namely, that I had just spent an entire day gleefully blowing away whole legions of not-Americans, most of whom were varying degrees of not-white. There was also talk about WMDs, something or other about a Federation in South America … I don’t know. None of it made much sense, and if it weren’t so much fun, I probably would have stopped playing.
Folks, that’s the true face of evil right there. Huxley’s Devil in a smooth jacket. Around every corner and through every scene change (including one … IN SPACE!), the game tells you nothing more important than “shoot that guy, blow that up, pull a lever, press a button, die.” It’s a terrible, awful, disgusting message wrapped up in a shell of awesome explosions and adrenaline-inducing gunfights. And coupled with the simultaneous release of Eminem’s “The Marshall Mathers LP 2,” which, when bought with “Call of Duty: Ghosts,” unlocks a bonus track on the album; well … it’s just a sad day for anyone who would like to think of video games as a serious art form.
Already I can hear the howler monkeys stirring in the digital jungle. One picks his head up from the foliage and says, “You just don’t get the deep story of brotherhood and loss, a——.” Another, in between bites of a papaya, shouts his agreement. “Right on! COD changed the world of shooter games forever. You’re just a butthurt liberal crybaby who can’t appreciate this kind of game. And Eminem’s new album is awesome!” And just for good measure, a third one swings by on a vine screaming, “Yeah, douche!”
So before any of them get a chance to say that, let me just say this: There is an astounding body of art in this game. The scenery, mechanics, engine and everything else undoubtedly took a herculean amount of work to pull off, and whatever individuals helped bring it to life are certainly artists in their own right.
But then, so was the team that made “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” So are the people that, every week, put out a new episode of “The Simpsons.” And so was whatever unholy coven that put together