He was found in violation of policy. Still, he was promoted.

Content warning: This story includes mention of sexual assault. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-4673.

Disclosure: Amber has previously written for The DePaulia.

Amber Stoutenborough remembered being excited upon joining DePaul’s ROTC program; as a cadet her freshman year of college, she was befriended by older students in the program.

“When you’re younger, you know, it’s all cool,” she said. “You know, the older people are talking to me.”

The week before autumn quarter 2018 began, Amber went over to her friend’s apartment to hang out with others from the program, where everyone started drinking. Being one of only two freshmen at the party, she had less experience drinking than the older students and began to consume more after some lighthearted teasing to “keep up.” Later in the night, Amber was left alone in the room with Sam, a high-ranking senior in the program.

“He was flirting with me beforehand — it was kind of known, but I was like ‘I don’t know,’” Amber said. “I wasn’t sure about that because he’s [a high-ranking senior]… and he was a little bit older.”

Amber said Sam continued to flirt with her, eventually kissing her despite her vocalizing her apprehension.

“He kisses me and I was like, ‘I think I’m a little too drunk for this.’ And he’s like, ‘No I think you’re fine,’” she said. “…I just kind of — my whole body just froze up, basically. Couldn’t say no, couldn’t really do anything. I just was really drunk that I was almost falling off the stool, right? I couldn’t really say anything, [couldn’t] really move.” 

He continued to kiss her, she said. As the situation escalated, Amber said she fell asleep due to her intoxication.

“I wasn’t kissing back,” she said. “And he was touching me in other places … I was very in and out. And then I black out; I don’t remember. I woke up on the couch and my underwear was gone. And I don’t remember anything.”

The day after the assault, Amber said that Sam texted her, saying he didn’t realize she was “that drunk” when he kissed her and apologized. Despite feeling uncomfortable about the situation, Amber said that she remained friends with him for two months following the incident, often hanging out in their friend group from ROTC.

Amber said she did not remember anything that occurred after blacking out, but never lost the feeling that something more had occurred that night. 

“It felt nice to have that attention, but there was always like, the underlying feeling of this was wrong,” she said.

In October, Amber told her friend who had also attended the party about Sam kissing her; her friend said that while at the party, he saw her “completely knocked out with [Sam’s] hand down [her] skirt.”

Amber later confided in an older ROTC cadet, who then informed professors within the program. She was later contacted by Title IX, beginning correspondence in Jan. 2019. The back and forth between Amber and the Title IX office took place throughout the full academic year.

“I just kind of felt like they weren’t very empathetic towards the situation at all,” she said. “Like it was more of a business than anything.”

Amber’s case began that summer, taking place via video conferencing since she had to go home for the summer. 

By the time her case ended in summer 2019, Jessica Landis, the Title IX Coordinator at the time of the investigation, was no longer at the university. Landis did not respond to multiple requests for comment. 

According to documents obtained by The DePaulia, a different case worker informed Amber that there wasn’t sufficient evidence to take action on all charges. In regard to Amber’s claim that Sam kissed her without consent, the panel assessing her case determined it was more likely than not that Sam broke the university’s Sexual and Relationship Violence policy. 

Sexual and Relationship Vio… by DePaulia

“Although initial instances of kissing may have been consensual, the panel found sufficient information to indicate that the reporting party’s capacity declined throughout the evening due to alcohol consumption, and the referred student knew or reasonably should have known that the reporting party was not able to provide clear consent,” the closing letter document reads. “The panel gave weight to the referred student’s statement in the investigation file that ‘I understand we were both intoxicated. How can it be consensual.’”

However, to Amber’s claims that Sam touched her elsewhere without consent while she was unconscious, the panel determined that it was more likely than not that Sam did not break the policy. 

“The panel found insufficient information as it relates to these allegations,” the closing letter document reads.

Amber appealed. 

“I wasted my whole freshman year having to go through that, just for nothing, so we did it again,” Amber said. 

Her appeal was denied. 

Amber said that she wished someone from the Title IX office had explained the reporting process more clearly before she committed to participating in it.  

“It was very pressured,” she said. “I wish they treated me like an adult and actually talked to me so I [would be] able to do things instead of just sitting there and not being aware. I wish they had really listened to me, because it seems like it was just more of a bit.”

Following her reporting the assault, ROTC told Amber that she and Sam were to be separated within the program, with Amber stating that one stipulation required they were never in the same room. This was directly violated, however, when she saw him at both a celebration preceding the group’s military ball, and at the ball itself.

“I had no idea that he was going to be there,” she said. “I just felt like ROTC should have done more. Because [Sam] was spreading rumors, apparently, that I was just jealous [and] because I wanted to be his girlfriend that I started this. That was really hard to hear from every cadet because they knew about it. And it’s hard to hear that and then like, the officers did nothing about it. They just let it happen.”

Lieutenant Colonel Nick Bugajski served as the chair and professor of military science at Loyola University at the time of the case, where DePaul and several other area universities share a battalion. He declined to comment and directed The DePaulia to current leadership.

Lieutenant Colonel Nathan Lewis is the current Program Director of Military Science at Loyola. Lewis confirmed to The DePaulia that two DePaul students within the company were involved in a Title IX investigation during the 2018-2019 school year, and were “directed to have no-contact until the conclusion of the investigation,” claiming “standard practice.” He also confirmed that both students were allowed to attend a military ball “with appropriate mitigating measures in place.” Lewis said that he could not release any specifics of the case, but said that it was “the only [case he was] aware of” involving DePaul students during that school year.

Sam told The DePaulia that he was verbally instructed by company leadership to separate from Amber at program functions, but that he was given permission by ROTC leadership to attend the ball, with “strict instructions” not to interact with Amber. He denied that he told company members the allegations against him were born out of jealousy.

Amber later found out that Sam had been promoted alongside his graduating class, despite Title IX’s determination that Sam violated the university’s Sexual and Relationship Violence policy. 

“I didn’t know that he was still allowed to be an officer after this, I didn’t know, actually, until the middle of my sophomore year,” she said. “Because nobody told me, nobody informed me of what was happening with him.”

Sam confirmed to The DePaulia that he graduated and commissioned before the final determination in the case was reached. He said that he felt the Title IX office was “inefficient at the time” and at times felt as though the office “wanted to get the case over with.” 

“I didn’t really get a sense of urgency or a sense of care for myself,” he said. “…I don’t know how it was for the other side, but I felt as if they were just going through the motions and checking off boxes.”

He denied all allegations of sexual misconduct. 

Amber remained in ROTC for the entirety of her freshman and sophomore year before eventually leaving in the middle of her junior year. She said that she trusts that the program is under better leadership now, but laments the ways in which they failed to support her. 

 “I was still really against them from what they did to me,” she said. “I tried to get past it, but it affected so much of who I was.”