Valentine’s Day is so much more than stuffed bears and candy hearts. It takes a strong heart and an iron stomach to tolerate everything you will see posted on social media. If you have nothing to post, just remember, more than half of it is fake, and every day is a day to love yourself, including Valentine’s Day. It could be argued that this is the most important holiday to practice self-love. In light of Cupid’s holiday coming up, here are a few things I think everyone should remember:

If they wanted to they would:

We can get a text back from anyone we want to get a text back from. I understand being a “cool person” is all the rage, but rolling with the punches in hopes of receiving the attention you want is not worth it. Reach out, be the person you want to be, and if they don’t text you back, show up to their apartment and start throwing rocks.

Okay maybe that’s a little dramatic, but believe me, they’re not that busy, their phone didn’t die, and acting “cool” will not make you feel better. At the end of the day, you are a stud, seeking higher education. A text does not determine your worth, so you shouldn’t let it. Neither does a grade or number of friends you have, for that matter. 

Self-love includes being assertive, even if it’s hard:

Long-term memory only lasts until you die and sometimes even says “peace out” before then. You can dance sober or send that text you have spent weeks drafting in your notes. If they reject you, it’s not that serious. It’s important that you speak your mind even if it won’t change theirs. 

The world is filled with a random subset of rules that other people have placed on us. YOU decide when, or if, you text back, how loudly or softly you speak and how “extra” you look or act. You do not need to accommodate to rules that you had no say in making, so be your authentic self and you will find a special someone or group of someones who love you for you. 

Be you – double points if you feel embarrassed while doing it:

Self-confidence can be hard! Don’t let weather always dictate your style. It’s your world and the weather is just living in it. If you choose to spend Valentine’s Day at the bar, wear that tank top that you love while it’s snowing. You only live once and I promise you will survive. Throw on a jacket for good measure, or if you really think it will be the end of you, shoot me a text and we’ll Uber.

Holiday pick-up lines are a given, your response isn’t: 

Valentine’s Day is just like Christmas. Wishing someone a “Merry Christmas” is a timeless line that will without a doubt get you back into someone’s life. Valentine’s Day is the same way, so if you receive a “Happy Valentine’s Day, you got any plans?” text, forgive and forget — within good reason, of course, protect your peace). What’s done is done, and you’d rather be a lover than a fighter anyway.

There’s only one REAL forever home, make sure you like it: 

The most important person in your life, believe it or not, is you. You have to live with this person  for the rest of your life, so you better like them. Surround yourself with people who embrace the you that you are proud of living in, not the you that they want you to live in. Remember you have to live with you forever, and I speak from experience when I say that this girl can get ANNOYING, but at the end of the day, I love her and so does everyone I surround myself with.

Moral of the story, let’s leave the boo’s for Halloween and spend this year focusing on you. Order that $15 coffee, ignore those texts from your ex like pop-up books from hell, and call your mom at any minor inconvenience. We’ll call it self-love. If anyone deserves all the love in the world, it’s you.