COLUMN: ‘Situationships’ have become the norm and they must be stopped

Situationships are undefined casual relationships— they thrive during college years and cause many to give up on love.

Situationships are defined as “a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered formal or established,” by Oxford Languages. Doesn’t reading that definition alone make you feel uneasy? The worst part is that situationships have become the norm. Commitment is dead, expectations are low, and we are all becoming emotionally damaged people during our prime years.

A situationship essentially provides what a relationship can, such as dates, sex, emotional support, and so on, but without the label. Without labels, boundaries, and expectations, you set yourself up for disappointment rather than fulfillment.

If you need a wake-up call or another reason why you should not be in a situationship, I have compiled a list of the truths about situationships and why you should leave now rather than later.

Your situationship is not committed to you

Commitment is the polar opposite of a situationship. Your situationship is not committed to you until they state it and refer to you as their partner. They are under no obligation to remain loyal or prioritize you. That means they can go out with other people, use dating apps, and do whatever they want. ​​If you want something casual without any of this hurting your feelings, that’s great, but don’t expect a long-term commitment from it.

Situationships mess with our perceptions of healthy relationships

Stand up, Gen Z. Situationships are destroying our generation’s perception of healthy relationships. We’re normalizing stringing each other along and pretending we don’t want a relationship when we do. Situationships can be messy and confusing. The longer you are in one, the more you will lose sight of what a loving relationship can be.

Situationships cause us to accept less than we deserve

Flowers? Chocolates? A good morning text? Don’t even think about it. Situationships prevent us from being honest about our wants and needs. We eventually accept less than we deserve. We don’t speak up because we’re afraid of losing what we have with someone, so we settle for the bare minimum because we’re afraid of having nothing at all.

Situationships can diminish your confidence

Sometimes situationships persuade you to act like a significant other without the title. Many times, you may feel insane as you do things to try and convince each other that you are worthy of a title, and you wonder why you aren’t good enough. This is why situational relationships are a big problem. They hurt your feelings and often leave you wondering why you aren’t enough. Your confidence is an important part of who you are. Why would you let someone who is short-term take that away from you?

Someone usually wants and needs more

Situationships can quickly become toxic. Often, one person desires a real relationship while the other enjoys the situation as is. You can’t make them commit to you if they don’t want to. If someone says they don’t want to be in a relationship, they don’t want one. At the end of the day, each person deserves something real, not something made up for some short-term fun that leads to a long-term heartbreak.