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The DePaulia

The Student News Site of DePaul University

The DePaulia

The Student News Site of DePaul University

The DePaulia

Pretty Evil: “Haunted House”

(Photo courtesy of FOX

Chanel-o-ween is upon Wallace University and her plethora of social media followers in the latest episode of “Scream Queens.” As any future network news anchor would do, Chanel brings the gory and vile joy of the Halloween season to fans across the “armpits of America” through Instagram videos and special hand-delivered gifts. However, this Chanel-o-ween was interrupted by something a bit scarier than a knock-off handbag; the return of the missing bodies from previous episodes.

Grace and Pete begin the episode on a hunt to discover more about the Kappa House incident of 1995. Donned in matching “How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days” costumes, the two knock on the door of a past Kappa pledge, Mandy, who witnessed the bathtub birth. While Mandy now lives in a trailer home with a pet squirrel, she claims the other Kappa sisters involved are not doing so well either and elaborates on the night that baby was born. Once Dean Munsch discovered the death of a Kappa sister she threatened the girls with neglect homicide and ordered them to bury the body. The Dean drove the girls, hoods covering their faces, to a hidden location to bury the body, entitling herself as a type of psychotic guardian angel. After the body was buried Munsch made the girls leave school. Mandy affirms Grace and Pete that the baby was a girl, diluting their theory that the baby was Chad.

Later that night, Mandy hears a knock on her door. When no one is there, a series of rattles shake the house. Armed with only her baseball bat, she turns on the lights and meets her fate by the Red Devil.

Grace’s snooping enters into family affairs when she confronts Wes, questioning if she was the baby at the Kappa house that night. While it is suspicious that Grace’s mom, along with Grace’s birth records and any memory of her mother, vanished in a fire, Grace is intelligent enough to know that she would not have been born in 1995 if she is eighteen years old. Unless, Wes has lied about her age her whole life.  However, who knows what Wes is capable of. He does screen movies such as “Children of the Corn” in his class and doesn’t shy away from suspicious commentary on the inner child in all.

[box]Read more “Scream Queens” recaps[/box]

Shortly after another epic storm out of her father’s classroom, Grace follows Pete’s text message to a home at 53 Shady Lane.  Pete and Denise’s research shows that the house lives up to its name. An old story reveals that a woman who lived in the house, dressed in all black, wailed about dead children.  A few kids claimed to have seen her standing in the window while some snuck in and found an entire room filled with old creepy children’s toys that were reported stolen from 1995.

With Denise still suspicious of Zayday’s involvement in the Red Devil murders, Zayday has decided to begin her official campaign for Kappa president. Earl Grey, a member of the Dollar Scholars, has decided to help Zayday with the campaign process. They decide upon a haunted house fundraiser for sickle cell anemia.

Chanel is furious to discover Zayday’s proclamation to take over the Kappa house. She lets out her rage by sharpening kitchen knives and swinging them around the room, causing the Chanels to worry, but her aggressive fit evaporated once the Chanels come up with a plan to host a haunted pumpkin patch for black hairy tongue disease to compete with Zayday’s haunted house.

Zayday and Earl plan their haunted house at the most convenient of locations: 53 Shady Lane. While the truly haunted atmosphere seems great, Denise is still convinced Zayday is hosting a “haunted party buffet for murders” and Chanel is spreading throughout the whole school that the Red Devil will kill again at Zayday’s party. Unfortunately, the only Red Devil action is the kidnapping of Zayday.

At night, Chad is walking through a foggy cemetery, reading out names on gravestones and wandering to find the perfect stone. Finally he concludes he has found the one. He unzips his pants; about to enjoy the arousal he receives from all things dark when the princess of creep, Hester, interrupts him. The two bond over their sexual attraction to dark and scary things. Hester explains how she wants to become Chanel one day and must have everything Chanel has, especially Chad. Chad is ready to do the deed in the cemetery but Hester proposes a secret location which turns out to be Zayday’s haunted house a couple hours before it opens.

Chad follows Hester through the 53 Shady Lane house with an only a flashlight and the echo to her calls. The two soon find a room horribly scary enough to have sex in. Chad and Hester enter a room where they discover the body of Ms. Bean. Believing it to be a fake body, Hester plunges her finger into the leg, only to show her that it is the real dead body of Kappa’s maid. Soon enough, Chad and Hester are finding every missing dead body from Wallace University, strategically placed and posed throughout the house.

Sitting in the coffee shop, pale and terrified, Chad and Hester warn everyone not to go to Zayday’s haunted house because there are real dead bodies. This of course causes everyone to leap out of his or her seats and rush over to 53 Shady Lane.

When Zayday and Grace arrive at the haunted house the two are informed about the dead bodies, leading Zayday to call the police and run into the Red Devil.

Back at the Kappa house Grace enlists Pete to help start a search party for Zayday. Pete reminds Grace that they are the last people who saw Mandy alive and must confess, prompting Grace to reveal one of the biggest secrets of the night.

Grace went through old police reports and found entries of theft for diapers and milk in 1995; a month after the bathtub baby was born. All reports described the robber as a person cloaked with all black. The woman living in 53 Shady Lane was hiding the Kappa baby.

Left with dramatic irony, the camera zooms through the halls of 53 Shady Lane to a woman dressed in all black, rocking anxiously back and forth on a rocking chair. The woman is Gigi.

Despite all the surprises, one of the best scenes from this episode was the cafeteria fight between the Chanels and two horny frat boys. The fight displayed that Chanel can use her powers for good and not just evil, as the girls defeated the frat boys while Chanel gave an epic speech on feminism.


The last scene is when we discover that Gigi is the woman who lived in 53 Shady Lane. My prediction is that she is the Kappa sister who kept the baby when the others buried the body. Scared of the consequences, she ran off to an abandoned house and tried to raise the baby in secret; dressed in all black to hide her identity. This would make sense that her present self is stuck in the 90s since her public life basically ended that night. The story says that the woman wailed about dead babies so I am predicting that the baby may have died in the house.

If the baby didn’t die,  she could possibly be leading the Red Devil cult group against Kappa as revenge for her mother’s death and we haven’t met the character yet.

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