Like all other season premieres of “Game of Thrones,” season six started off catching up with all the characters fans have desperately missed since season five ended last year — primarily Jon Snow, who is sadly and surprisingly by the end of the episode still dead. But he has to come back. Or at least that’s what I keep saying to console myself, but ultimately, I don’t think Dolorous Edd and Davos are captivating enough to be the stars of the storylines at the Wall — even if there will be an impending war between Jon Snow’s friends with the Wildlings and everyone who is glad Jon is dead at the Wall.
While Jon is still dead, his younger sister, Sansa is still alive and escaping Winterfell with a surprisingly agile Theon. After a terrifying sequence in which Theon and Sansa are unfortunately hunted down by Bolton guards, they are saved in the nick of time by Brienne and Podrick, finally allowing Brienne to fulfill her promise she made to Catelyn Stark about rescuing her daughters.
Family members who weren’t as lucky in “The Red Woman” were the late Oberyn Martell’s family, as Ellaria Sand, one of the most lovably evil women on the show, kills Prince Doran, and her daughters kill his bodyguard and the beautiful Prince Trystane. I’ll miss looking at his face every week, but can’t wait to see what the Sand Snakes do with their new-found power in Dorne.
While this was an exciting start to what is sure to be a thrilling season, the most memorable part of this episode was the most heartbreaking — Cersei’s face as she realizes her daughter is dead. The slow crumble of her excited smile into her heartbroken grimace on top of her flawless portrayal of Cersei in season five proved that Lena Headey is not only one of the best actresses on “Game of Thrones,” but also one of the best working actresses on television currently, especially when she talked about how her deceased daughter, Myrcella, is one of the few Lannisters who were actually “good,” to which Cersei is spot on. While Tyrion is thoroughly enjoyable in every scene he’s in (especially with his bad Valryian translations in this week’s “The Red Woman”), and Tommen is adorably aloof, Myrcella seemed to have been the only Lannister who was actually sweet and caring.
Prediction
Loras Tyrell is totally going to die in prison, despite Queen Margaery repeatedly asking after him. His death will unhinge Margaery, so she’s as ready to take on the Lannisters as Ellaria and the Sand Snakes are in Dorne.
Stray Observation
Ellaria Sand ensures there’s no erasure of bisexuality in “Game of Thrones,” when Prince Doran mentioned his late brother, Oberyn Martell, slept with numerous good-looking women, and Ellaria made a point to include he slept with good-looking men as well.
Marry
No marriages so far in this season, which is a good thing for all wedding guests of Westeros.
Kill
Not as many deaths as I thought for a season premiere, but still some shocking ones including Prince Doran and poor, beautiful Prince Trystane of Dorne who were killed by Ellaria Sand and her daughters. Additionally, the Bolton guards hunting down Sansa and Theon were killed by Brienne, Podrick and even Theon.
Screw
After Myrcella returns to King’s Landing as a corpse, anyone who has ever messed with Jaime or Cersei Lannister will be screwed this season.