Why Gen Z relationships never get closure — and what that says about us

Addison Rogers, Contributing Writer • March 10, 2025

Gen Z is terrible at breakups.

Relationships end prematurely, and without definitive closure, leaving emotional wounds, heightened anxiety and an inability to navigate conflict.

Instead of facing hard conversations, Gen Z often disappears.

Ghosting has become the norm, justified with phrases like “protecting my peace” or “not owing anyone anything.” Though these statements sound emotionally mature, they are often excuses to avoid responsibility.

Gen Z’s relationship habits are a symptom of a larger systemic issue — capitalism’s emphasis on self-interest over community. An economy that prioritizes self-preservation, a mental health crisis that teaches people to protect themselves at all costs and an era of hyper-individualism that discourages dependence on others only explain Gen Z’s relationship struggles, they don’t absolve individuals of accountability.

DePaul Senior Jazzlyn Marks has witnessed this problem firsthand.

“Some people don’t know how to word things effectively and often just ghost people because they don’t have the tools,” Marks said. “I don’t think that managing conflict is a high priority in our generation right now.”

Gen Z loves therapy, but they love using therapy speak to justify harmful behavior more.

Terms like “narcissist,” “gaslighting” and “trauma” are thrown around so casually that they’ve lost meaning. Instead of breaking up with a sense of maturity, Gen Z diagnoses their exes with personality disorders to avoid self-reflection.

While some cases necessitate leaving for emotional safety, not every disagreement is “traumatic” or manipulative. When Gen Z only sees themselves as victims, mental health buzzwords become a shield against introspection.

“There are so many people that end relationships over text or don’t cite actual reasons for breaking up out of fear, lack of knowing how to communicate or just not caring about the person they are with enough to give them a genuine response,” Marks said.

Because of this phenomenon, Gen Z struggles to trust, fearing they’ll be abandoned without explanation.

Many develop insecurities around conflict because they’ve never learned how to navigate it. Relationships feel unstable, with the looming threat that one wrong move could mean an immediate breakup.

Marks said relationship-ending conflict stems from an incomplete foundation.

“I feel like I’ve seen people skip a lot of steps in a relationship like talking about deal breakers, values or expectations,” Marks said. “I think it stems from a lack of boundaries being set before the relationship fully manifests.”

The inability to resolve conflicts doesn’t just impact romantic relationships — it affects friendships, work dynamics and family bonds. If Gen Z never learns to navigate interpersonal challenges, they will struggle in every area of life that requires emotional regulation and investment.

Relationships don’t end in closure anymore because Gen Z doesn’t seek resolution — they seek to win. The result is a generation fluent in self-awareness terminology but lacking the emotional depth to practice it.

Modern relationship discourse isn’t about building emotional intelligence or navigating differences; it’s about proving who is the most hurt and who can frame themselves most convincingly as the victim.

Public and private language arts educator Stacy Armengau reflected on her experiences working with Gen Z and observing their relationships.

“This generation of students never take ownership or think that their actions are wrong, making it harder to reason with each other,” Armengau said. “They are never at fault in their minds and never seem to believe that their response is over the top.”

Instead of working through conflict, many default to self-victimization, weaponizing terms like “boundaries” and “emotional safety” to shut down conversations before they happen.

“With the rise and awareness of mental health, people have started to adopt this mentality of ‘you don’t owe someone an explanation.’ I think this mindset is becoming harmful because you actually do owe someone an explanation for why you don’t want to continue,” Marks said.

Because no one takes responsibility, relationships remain in a state of incompleteness.

“A lot of issues could be solved in relationships if we sit our partners down and ask them, ‘What are your hot buttons? What do you need to make this relationship work? Here are the things I need from you. What do you need when we approach our first argument?’ No one asks these questions until a line has already been crossed,” Marks said.

Gen Z expects relationships to feel effortless, and when they don’t, they disengage.

Self-preservation has become the focus, creating transactional relationships — Gen Z doesn’t learn from past mistakes because their self-narratives never allow for the possibility that they made any.

This cycle creates emotionally detached, avoidant and deeply insecure individuals.

As a generation, we crave connection but don’t know how to handle it. We struggle with conflict but lack the tools to navigate it. We want intimacy but have convinced ourselves that no effort is required to maintain it.

Real closure doesn’t come from blocking, avoidance or crafting a self-serving narrative about why a relationship ended.

Proper breakups come from engaging in hard conversations, acknowledging personal shortcomings and treating others with the same respect that we as a generation demand for ourselves.

We as a generation will be unable to solve larger conflicts if we cannot solve interpersonal problems first.

Until Gen Z prioritizes real emotional growth over performative self-awareness, relationships will continue to be short-lived, self-centered and ultimately unsatisfying.

Related Stories:

Stay informed with The DePaulia’s top stories, delivered to your inbox every Monday.