I’d like to preface this review with something Belgian director Chantal Akerman once said about mainstream audiences’ responses to her avant-garde films:
“When most people go to the movies, the ultimate compliment for them is to say, ‘We didn’t notice the time pass!’” Akerman said. “With me, you see the time pass. And feel it pass. You also sense that this is the time that leads toward death… And that’s why there’s so much resistance. I took two hours of someone’s life.”
I remembered this quote while watching “The Monkey,” the latest horror flick from actor-turned-director Osgood ‘Oz’ Perkins. It’s a film whose subject matter is obviously leading towards death, but also one Perkins clearly, almost conversely wants the audience to resist as little as possible. The result is an annoying comedy detached from the weight of its premise, and one that I noticed every minute of.
The film starts with Hal and Bill Shelburn (both Christian Convery), who are raised by their single mother Lois (Tatiana Maslany). Bill is a bully to Hal, but they share a fascination with their absent father’s belongings. One day, they find a toy monkey among them and wind its key — only to discover that when they do, someone around them randomly and gruesomely dies. After the unstoppable evil kills their babysitter, Lois and their uncle (Perkins himself), the boys dispose of it and try to move on with their lives.
25 years later, Hal (now Theo James), estranged from his brother and his teenage son Petey (Colin O’Brien), suddenly receives a call from Bill (also now Theo James). Inexplicable deaths are once again occurring in their hometown, and Hal and Petey must put a stop to the cursed force before more innocent lives are claimed.
I haven’t mentioned yet that the film is based on Stephen King’s short story of the same name, but you wouldn’t need to know that to tell that it’s an adaptation of a short story. Even at barely 90 minutes without credits, “The Monkey” feels stretched thin in its main plot and aimless in its additions to it. The side characters the film introduces are totally disposable, and serve no purpose other than to brutally die.
Truth be told, all of the graphic kills are, on their own, pretty solid. Even if they never quite reach the level of the “Final Destination” franchise, their Rube Goldberg setups are fun enough. But with the way they’re haphazardly structured, there’s no consistent escalation between them, and they feel redundant and weightless throughout the film. The inevitability of death being made into a procession as one-note as the monkey’s drum is neat in theory, but an idea Perkins takes too literally.
Where “The Monkey” really falls apart is in its humor. On paper, Perkins is an unfortunately great fit to direct a story about shocking and improbable death, having lost his father (actor Anthony Perkins) to AIDS and then his mother (photographer Berry Berenson) in the September 11 attacks.
But even if Perkins hadn’t already established himself with the evocative and creepy moods of “The Blackcoat’s Daughter,” “Longlegs” and even “Gretel & Hansel,” his pivot into comedy here couldn’t have worked less for me.
Despite its heavy themes, “The Monkey” undermines almost every genuine moment with a relentless, aggravating irony. At its worst, it reminded me of “Cocaine Bear” and “Deadpool & Wolverine” — “edgy” films whose constant reassurances to the audience that they’re actually in on the joke quickly become embarrassing. I’m sure I would’ve enjoyed this more when I was in middle or high school, but I’ve grown allergic to this cheap cynicism.
“The Monkey” isn’t an incompetent film, just a misguided one. It’s a film as insightful and funny as its tagline (“Everybody dies. And that’s f—ed up.”), and while I’m happy for those that could fully get onto its wavelength, I hope that Perkins returns to making serious films soon.
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