After sitting through all eight episodes of Netflix’s “Age of Attraction,” I couldn’t help but feel entertained, confused and ultimately riddled with cringe.

Hosted by Nick Viall and Natalie Joy, “Age of Attraction” places 40 singles, ages 22 to 60, in a secluded retreat to mingle and date. They omit one central piece of information: their age.

Not even halfway through the first episode, I could tell the show would amplify stereotypes and reinforce popular narratives surrounding age-gap relationships rather than challenge them.

Age-gap relationships often spark debate over ethics, power imbalances, fetishization and predatory dynamics. The show glosses over these concerns and attempts to prove that “age doesn’t matter” — even though it often does.

Once the singles decide to continue a relationship, they go to the “promise room,” where they reveal their ages and exchange rings. From there, they move into an apartment together, meet each other’s families and decide if they will continue the relationship after the show.

“Age of Attraction” collapses under its own concept, with most couples unable to withstand the societal and personal pressures of their relationships. They seemed to love living in the honeymoon phase of their journey, only remaining committed to each other without actually having to navigate the real world. 

However, once their families got involved and conversations shifted to life away from the cameras, the reality of their differing stages in life began to set in.

Anna McCauley, a DePaul senior studying graphic design, said she questions whether people in age-gap relationships can actually connect.

“Developmentally, people are in different spots,” McCauley said. “Sometimes I see age-gap relationships and I’m like, ‘What do they talk about?’” 

“I can’t imagine myself connecting with someone who is 10 years older or younger because at that point it’s almost a generational gap,” she added.

According to a 2024 Ipsos poll, nearly half of Americans said they have been in a relationship with someone at least 10 years older or younger than them. About 59% view emotional maturity as a benefit of an age gap, while 26% cite having nothing in common as the biggest barrier.

The “age is just a number” mentality affects the dynamics of romantic relationships because it fails to consider that age functions as an inescapable truth. Age often shapes financial stability, whether someone has children, their career status and countless other factors that impact a person’s daily routine and worldview.

The show examines age-gap relationships through an especially negative lens: The younger partner needs trauma to be considered “mature,” they need adequate communication skills to be taken seriously, and they need a willingness to let the older partner take control. The older partner needs confidence to be with someone over 20 years younger than them.

Take Vanelle, age 27, and Jorge, age 60. I winced every time they appeared, not just because of the age difference, but because of Jorge’s inability to talk with Vanelle and tendency to talk at her, turning every disagreement into a lecture.

Consider Libby, age 22, and Andrew, age 38, one of two couples that are still together after the show. Andrew claims their long-distance, age-gap relationship works because Libby, despite her age, “communicates great.” In the sixth episode, he said he does not expect Libby to be a stepmom to his two teenage daughters, instead wanting her to bring “big sister vibes.” This framing felt unsettling.

The only participant who confronted the realities of an age gap was Theresa, age 54, highlighting the double standard applied to women in relationships with younger men. Theresa said she felt “disgusted” with herself for dating John, age 27, feeling uncomfortable in public and fearing familial scrutiny. It was difficult to watch John fail to properly reassure her or acknowledge the systemic nature of her concerns.

Marcos Martinez, a DePaul freshman studying network security and engineering, likes the show’s premise, though his opinion is shaped by awareness and optimism about such relationships.

“You really can’t ignore the fact that one person is 60 and the other is in their 20s,” Martinez said. “But there is a rare chance that it can work out for both parties.”

While I believe you cannot always control who you “fall in love” with, love isn’t always enough to sustain a relationship. It seems the best way to make an age-gap relationship work is to acknowledge the difference, not pretend it isn’t there.

“Age of Attraction” ultimately proves that age does play an essential role in one’s dating life.

While I was entertained as a lover of trash TV, I finished the first season convinced that age isn’t something we can simply ignore when dating and hope for the best.

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