I have never really been into the colors pink and green, but these colors together always make sense in my mind. Seeing these colors floods me with memories and emotions of a piece of media that has certainly changed my life.

On Jan. 3, 2018, I saw “Wicked” for the first time when it arrived in Chicago on tour. I had seen it once before when I was younger, but all I could remember was the Wizard of Oz’s ginormous, scary animatronic head. 

I decided to give it another shot when it came into town, and I’m thankful I made that decision. The girl I was before and after experiencing it were two completely different people.

I was 15 years old and a freshman in high school. Walking into the James M. Nederlander theatre, I was a shy introvert with no solid friends — at most close acquaintances — and I was still trying to discover who I was. Grade school wasn’t the most beautiful or rewarding experience for me, so I wanted to start fresh in high school.

Walking out of the theater, I felt something change within me. Elphaba’s evergrowing courage and her spunk made me want to be like her. I wanted to be so confident that I didn’t give a twig what anyone else thought.

Out of the whole musical, one line stuck with me: “My future is unlimited.”

Elphaba sings this lyric during the song “The Wizard and I.” This is when she gets an invitation to visit the Wizard of Oz, the ruler of Oz and someone she looks up to. This is one instance of where she’s most confident in herself because she feels as if someone understands her. Sadly, the Wizard of Oz turns out to be evil, casting Elphaba as a villain despite her good intentions.

Even though things didn’t go too well for Elphaba after that song, I kept on repeating that phrase to myself. I was always wondering where and who I’d be within a few years, but I knew I had all the time in the world to get to a place someday where I’d be happy with myself. 

Alongside a story of a woman trying to discover herself, it was also a story of two unlikely people who formed this unbreakable bond. I craved and hoped for a friendship like theirs — a friendship that made me feel whole. 

Thankfully, I have found a friendship that makes me feel like that. Camila Benencia and I met at a concert in 2023 and three years later we are inseparable. I went up to her because she seemed nice and bubbly when she was talking to her sibling. If you told my 15-year-old self I went up to someone to talk to them and they’d become my best friend, I would’ve laughed.

Over eight years later, I’ve seen the musical countless times, both live and online. Over winter break, I watched “Wicked: For Good,” the second movie of the “Wicked” franchise. 

Every time I watch “Wicked,” the ending song “For Good” cues my waterworks. It’s the last time Glinda and Elphaba see each other before — spoiler — Elphaba leaves Oz, and it’s heartbreaking each and every time. The way this song and the following scene were portrayed in the movie had me bawling my eyes out.

This movie came out at a perfect time because I had just finished my first quarter of graduate school, which was a bit difficult. I didn’t feel the best mentally during the last few weeks of fall quarter, but watching “Wicked” helped bring my confidence back. 

It always reminds me that while you go through obstacles, you always have yourself to fall back on. 

I have come to a point in my life where I can say I’m satisfied with who I am as a person. Of course, I still have a lot of room to grow and get better, but I’m not as shy as I used to be and I have more belief in myself.

If I were to go back and meet my 15-year-old self, I would say she’d be proud of me. I’ve grown to love myself and I still cherish and adore the musical that changed my life years ago.

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