As a child, Arab Aramin threw stones at Israeli soldiers. As a teenager, Guy Elhanan prepared to take up arms in the Israeli military. On Tuesday, Feb. 11, they stood together at DePaul, not as enemies, but as “brothers.”

A moment of silence for victims set a somber but powerful tone at The Parents Circle-Families Forum dialogue, hosted at DePaul by the Grace School of Applied Diplomacy and the Dialogue Collaborative Steering Committee. Other sponsors included DePaul’s College of Communication, Division of Mission and Ministry and the departments of political science and international studies.

Aramin and Elhanan are two members of The Parents Circle-Families Forum, a grassroots organization made up of Israelis and Palestinians who have lost family members to the conflict and have chosen reconciliation over retaliation. Its mission is to foster dialogue and understanding between both sides, believing in the power of human connection over violence.

Aramin is a Palestinian from East Jerusalem. At age 10, he lost his sister, Abir Aramin, who was shot by an Israeli soldier outside her school. He didn’t yet recognize Israelis as human beings — only as soldiers — and he wanted revenge.

“When something like that happens, you want to get even,” Aramin told the group gathered at St. Vincent DePaul Catholic Church. 

His father, a former Palestinian prisoner, told him, “I lost seven years of my life for nothing — Palestine is still not free,” and urged him to seek a different form of resistance, one rooted in peace and dialogue rather than revenge.

Aramin started talking to Israelis and realized they also had pain, fear and loss. An Israeli soldier whom he had once hated became someone he called “uncle,” and he realized that behind every Palestinian, there is a human being, and behind every Israeli, there is a human being, too.

Elhanan is an Israeli actor and doctoral student whose 14-year-old sister, Smadar Elhanan, was killed by a Palestinian suicide bomber in 1997 as she walked to school. After her death, he served in the military and had support from his friends with their “engagement to avenge” his sister, but his mother intervened and found a loophole to prevent him from serving in combat. He was angry at her and felt that she had stolen his chance to avenge his sister’s death.

He later realized, “These armies aren’t fighting armies anymore; they’re fighting children with stones.”

Elhanan immersed himself in Palestinian culture, learning Arabic and teaching at a bilingual school. Eventually, he joined the Parents Circle-Families Forum.

“It’s not just the language of the enemy. Actually, it’s just a language, it has jazz, stand-up comedy, anything you want,” he said, reflecting on how his perspective had shifted over time.

His story, like Aramin’s, demonstrated a journey from vengeance to understanding, proving that dialogue — while difficult — is not impossible.

As the event opened for questions, DePaul students and community members asked pressing and difficult questions about dialogue in such a polarizing time. The humanitarian crisis in Gaza has resulted in thousands of casualties while ceasefire talks stall and negotiations over hostages remain uncertain.

One audience member asked how they continue their work when their own communities criticize them for it.

“If we lose hope, we lose everything,” Aramin responded. “Especially with our own people, it’s not easy. But what are we fighting for if not the chance to live?”

Another audience member pressed further, asking whether they had ever lost faith in their cause. The question carried weight in the wake of the Oct. 7 Hamas attacks, which killed over 1,000 people in Israel and led to the deadliest phase of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in decades. 

Elhanan admitted that the crisis in Gaza had changed how he felt about speaking Arabic in Israel.

“Before Oct. 7, I felt very proud to speak Arabic loudly in Israel,” he said. “Now, I don’t know if I feel that way anymore.”

In response to other questions, he and Aramin emphasized the importance of recognizing each other’s suffering rather than competing over who has lost more.

“We are not here to compare pain,” Elhanan said. “We are here to meet around it.”

After the event, students reflected on the conversation and how it challenged their perspectives.

Juliana Zanubi, a graduate student studying applied diplomacy, shared how the event humanized the conflict in a way she hadn’t considered before.

“Sometimes when we hear about conflicts and injustices, we only hear statistics, not the voices of the people living through it,” Zanubi said. “Tonight, I learned that suffering is suffering, no matter what side you’re on. 

“It’s important to hear from people on the ground so that we can understand what’s actually happening, rather than just seeing numbers.”

Andrea Fuentes Martinez, also a graduate student studying applied diplomacy, shared how the discussion challenged her preconceived notions and made her rethink how she engages with the topic.

“I had a lot of biases in my mind,” Fuentes Martinez said. “Seeing two people advocating for one thing — but in a way I hadn’t considered before — made me realize that justice should be about humans, not just sides.”

The discussion, while focused on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, also served as a broader message about the implications of polarization and dialogue in today’s world. 

Ultimately, Aramin left the audience with a challenge, not to pick a side, but to stand for something greater.

“If you are pro-Palestine or pro-Israel, it will never help us,” he said. “If you decide to be pro-justice and pro-humanity for both of us — that is the only way to help.”

Related Stories:

• SGA’s DEI committee campaigns for a Gaza Scholars Program
• Students vow to continue pushing DePaul to divest from Israel after Gaza Solidarity Encampment was dismantled
• Students for Justice in Palestine hold walkout on anniversary of October 7

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